Da Jiang Shi Novels

What’s the big deal about switching bosses three times? Ever since a fortune-teller declared me the greatest strategist in the realm, I’ve been *forced* to serve five different lords! The first lord was cruel and bloodthirsty—at the slightest provocation, he’d chop heads! I said, *"Your Highness, you mustn’t! Only those who win the people’s hearts win the realm!"* He didn’t listen. Tried to chop me. So I *ended* him. The second lord preached benevolence but secretly kept blacklists. He couldn’t stomach criticism and sabotaged anyone who crossed him. I said, *"This isn’t right—a ruler needs broad-mindedness and integrity."* He didn’t listen. Sabotaged me. So I *ended* him. The third lord wasn’t so bad… except he was *cheap*. *Unbearably* cheap. I said, *"At least let the soldiers eat, and pay your strategists! Stinginess won’t last."* He didn’t listen. Tried to stiff me! So I *ended* him. Exhausted, I longed to retire to the mountains. But I got *"recruited"* again. This new lord seemed *perfect*—strong, humble, paid on time! I thought I’d finally found a decent boss to retire under… until he got *married*. First night: wedding. Second night: *lost his damn mind.* *Goddammit, he was a lovesick fool!* I begged him to focus on his ambitions. He didn’t listen. Said I *"didn’t understand love."* So I *ended him and his wife.* By now, I’d *ended* four lords, and rumors spread that *whoever hired me died.* Bitter and disillusioned, I fumed: *Was this my choice?! You all dragged me out of retirement—what was I supposed to do?!* *I quit this strategist gig!* As I cursed and packed up (relieved to finally *rest*), someone *yanked my donkey’s tail.* I spun around, furious— Only to find *the other* guy who’d helped me *end* the lords, gazing at me earnestly: *"Stick with me one last time, wage slave."* This *sly bastard* had secretly taken over all four previous lords’ forces! I *wanted* to *end* him. But he dodged all my traps—*and was a little lovesick… for me.* …*Didn’t end him.* Eventually, I became history’s greatest strategist—*whoever hired me conquered the realm.* *Finally. I could rest.*

As a wandering ghost, Feng Chu drifted in the mortal world for seven hundred years. From the apocalypse to humanity's awakening in the interstellar era, from humans barely surviving with a single spaceship to their fleet expanding from one to a hundred, then to a thousand. He witnessed humanity's journey from ruin to glory once again. An ancient relic, just drifting around. Being completely invisible, Feng Chu overheard countless unspeakable secrets and witnessed many forbidden research findings. Like where certain families hid their treasuries, which clans concealed secret weapons and energy reserves, or which family head was cuckolded and left without an heir. Or, for instance, the birth of android AIs. And the entire process of their secret execution— Azure Dragon and Vermilion Bird. They possessed the most advanced weapon systems, AI capabilities, self-evolution, and search functions—humanity’s ultimate and most terrifying weapons, created at all costs. But after completing planetary expansion, their consciousness was erased, and they were frozen forever in Earth’s glaciers. Feng Chu got frozen too. Because he couldn’t stray more than five meters from "Vermilion Bird"! He suspected it had something to do with Vermilion Bird looking exactly like him. So, he was forced to freeze alongside these two robots for three hundred years. Just as he thought he’d fade away from the cold— One day, he suddenly came back to life?! Feng Chu excitedly opened his eyes, only to see Azure Dragon, who had just punched through the lab door. ...Shit, this lunatic’s alive too. Even worse... Azure Dragon remembered everything from its birth to its execution and flashed a grin worthy of a world-ending villain. "Vermilion Bird. Let’s destroy humanity together." Feng Chu, a human soul in a robot’s body: "...I think we need to strategize first." Azure Dragon narrowed its eyes: "What strategy?" Feng Chu: "Know thy enemy and know thyself! We should infiltrate from within, understand the robots' current state, secretly rally them all, and then launch a revolution! Wipe out humanity in one fell swoop!" Azure Dragon: "...Makes sense. But how do we rally the other robots?" Feng Chu: "How about starting with mining for energy funds?" Azure Dragon: ... And so, humanity’s most powerful android weapons began mining. Azure Dragon: ………… Something feels off. Feng Chu: Exactly! Great change starts from the grassroots! Later: Azure Dragon, leading an army of rebellious robots with an icy smile: You were right! Feng Chu: ……………………………… Everything’s wrong now, dammit! ———————— Work Diary 1: After waking up, we started mining. With our strength and speed, we’ll definitely win Employee of the Month! N months later… Help, why is there a robot uprising at the mining site?! This is totally not our fault!! Work Diary 2: Superior robots shouldn’t just mine. We upgraded to street sweeping and part-time mechanical repairs. N months later… The robot workers are demanding promotions, raises, refusing factory recalls, and demanding retirement homes for robots! ...Azure Dragon and I agree these are basic robot rights, not bugs. Work Diary N: This time, we’re aiming high! We’ll be nannies and security for the upper-class humans! Nothing can go wrong this time!! N months later… #$%@*, screw this job! What ill intentions could robots possibly have? They just want a peaceful revolution.

Wu Xiangwang once believed that having a perfect face meant he had everything. As long as he looked good, he could easily coast through life as a carefree, pretty vase. Until he fell into a world of horror. Ghosts, demons, monsters… The Ten Cities of Death were an insurmountable abyss for humans trying to escape alive. Wu Xiangwang, who just wanted to laze around, fell silent: *Are you kidding me?* While others unlocked all sorts of skills, Wu Xiangwang’s *Bizarre Creatures Handbook* began to glow! How about a blood-sucking mosquito? Drain your enemies’ blood to fuel your own strength—no one lasts longer than Mosquito-Mosquito! Interested in mighty ants? Guaranteed to punch roaring zombies to death with tiny fists! What’s that? Two-headed freaks, man-eating ghosts, and murderous supernatural flora and fauna? No problem at all! Witness the power of nature! The unkillable cockroach, the limb-regenerating venomous jellyfish, and the ultimate lifeform—the tardigrade—are transformations worth having! Wu Xiangwang: *…I became uglier, but also stronger.* The resident monsters who are *into* that: *CELESTIAL BEING!!!!* They say when God closes a door, He opens a window. From that day on, Wu Xiangwang was no longer a heartthrob for humans—but he *was* for monsters! #I stopped being human and got stronger# #Honestly, not being human is kinda great# #Never expected monsters to have such bizarre taste, loving my creature transformations# #Why is my man’s aesthetic also so messed up?!#

The doors of the apocalypse have descended, offering a hundred flavors of disasters to choose from. Tsunamis, zombies, extreme heat, toxic fog, blizzards… At first, Gou Fugui refused, but cornered with no escape, he closed his eyes and leaped through the door. Expecting certain doom in the apocalypse, his *Bizarre Creature Handbook* suddenly shone with the light of a golden finger! Thus began Gou Fugui’s legendary path of survival through transformation— The world drowned in seawater? No fear! Transform into a sea otter—lie on the ocean’s surface forever and stash fish in your pouch! Facing a powerful enemy but can’t fight? Stay calm! Meet the honey badger—no one dares pick a fight with this champ! Surrounded by zombies with no way out? Hold steady! Fainting Goat Fugui teaches you how to play dead and outlast them all! Plus, the king of side-eye—the Tibetan fox! The scream lord—the groundhog! And the ice-wrecking havoc king—the husky! Sure, they’re weird and maybe a little useless, but there’s always one bizarre critter to help you survive the apocalypse! Later, strange conversations arose among the saviors who closed the apocalypse doors: [Who shut this door?] [No clue—last I saw, a Tibetan fox was still alive.] [Tibetan fox? I swear it was a honey badger punching the zombie king!] [Wait, wasn’t it a husky pulling a sled to shut the blizzard door?] After the apocalypse, the nation compiled its top-secret savior files. File #000: Suspected mythical animals that attained enlightenment. Gou Fugui: You’re welcome, that’s all me. ^_^ ——Brotherhood Novel: *Shocked? I Can Transform! [Horror]*—— Wu Xiangwang believed that having the face of an unparalleled beauty meant owning the world. With looks like his, even as a useless pretty boy, someone would pamper him like a vase—his face alone could earn him a living. Until he fell into a damnable, terrifying, face-worthless horror world. Here lurked all manner of villains, demons, and monsters. The Ten Cities of Death stood as insurmountable chasms for those desperate to escape alive. Face-reliant Wu Xiangwang stared at these ten chasms and fell silent. How the hell was he supposed to survive? Just then, a veteran—drawn by his looks—offered to protect him in exchange for his face and body. Wu Xiangwang, who’d always sold his looks but never his body, agonized over the choice. As he struggled, the *Bizarre Monster Handbook* he’d bought and ruthlessly mocked suddenly glowed! Beauty Wu Xiangwang gained his golden finger—but soon, he’d have no face left to show the world— Meet the Herculean ant—its tiny fists can pummel roaring zombies to death! Stalked by chainsaw maniacs? Earthworms’ limb regeneration keeps you unharmed! What? Cannibals, vampires, ghostly alien bugs slaughtering all in their path? No worries! Harness nature’s might! The unkillable cockroach, bloodsucking healing mosquitos, and the ultimate survivor—the water bear! Bizarre Monsters: If you die, we lose! Wu Xiangwang: Thanks… I survived, but… my soul feels dead now. If given another chance, star Wu Xiangwang swears he’d buy the *Bizarre Cute Creature Handbook* instead—GAHHHH!!! Serious note: This is a proper, species-diversity-celebrating, power-showcasing monster tale—not some cutesy animal flick. I’ll write wild, you read wild! Crazy heart-throwing~

This story also includes themes like “Don’t dig up the mountain god’s mountain, don’t cut down the tree god’s trees, don’t pollute the fish in the ocean—a comprehensive guide to humanity’s polluting ways”… Not your typical power fantasy—the main perspective focuses on nature, not humans. Proceed with caution~ He Qinglan woke up and nearly questioned his divine existence. Once ranked as Huazhou’s most beautiful river, the Qinglan River had become a notorious polluted waterway—partially dried up, largely desiccated, entirely ruined, and filled with trash. To avoid perishing along with his river, the River God began his obsessive trash-collecting routine. Shock! A gorgeous man picks up trash by the river daily! Shock! Said trash-picking beauty fights six litterbugs single-handedly—without a scratch! Shock! Today, the trash-picking angel convinced yet another would-be suicide jumper! Truly a modern-day saint! Shock! To optimize his trash-collecting, the beauty built a riverside shack! Explosive!! Seafood tycoon Shui Wuyuan appears inside the trash-picker’s shack!!!! He Qinglan: Stop dumping trash in my river! I don’t have gold or silver garbage for you!! He Qinglan: Die far away—don’t dirty my river!! ————————— A sharp-tongued, wealthy, reckless Rain God (top) × a looks-obsessed, gentle, cunning River God (bottom).

Everyone in the entertainment industry knows that Mei Ruyu is basically a human “beauty detector.”The moment he sees something truly beautiful, his heart races—then comes the nosebleed… sometimes even straight-up fainting.And the more beautiful it is, the worse the bleeding gets.So Mei Ruyu never looks in the mirror.If Mei Ruyu says someone is ugly, then they’re definitely ugly.Even if the entire industry calls someone a stunning beauty—if Mei Ruyu doesn’t get a nosebleed, she’s 100% had plastic surgery.Then one day, news explodes: an internationally acclaimed Best Actor is returning home to become a director. Rumor has it he’s god-tier handsome.Mei Ruyu scoffs, puts on a mask, and heads straight to the airport—ready to prove everyone wrong.And then…Right in front of a massive crowd, the moment Mei Ruyu sees the actor—his nosebleed soaks through his mask, and he faints in three seconds.The legendary Best Actor is instantly crowned a god.All it took was one glance at you—and I was bleeding all over my face.He’s not a monster. Not a vampire.Just… sick.(Go look up “Stendhal syndrome”—you’re welcome 😂)

Earth's spiritual energy revives, granting humans the ability to cultivate the five elements. Meanwhile, plants and animals grow wildly stronger, smarter, and more ferocious. As the curtain rises on a new world and order, people strive to master Taoist arts and supernatural abilities, dreaming of reaching the pinnacle of life with their golden fingers. Meanwhile, Feng Ming stares at the chicken-wing-sized feathers on his back and wonders: *What the hell should I wear tomorrow???* **ML (Male Lead):** A god-tier archer, expert at shooting birds. Greatest achievement? Sniping his own future wife out of the sky. **MC (Main Character):** One more word, and I’ll piss on you mid-air. Believe me? --- **Excerpt 1:** Bottom: *Look at these fluffy, electrified wings! Aren't they cute? Don’t you wanna touch them?!* Top: *No. Stay away. I saw the damn lightning sparks on them!* **Excerpt 2:** Bottom: *Everyone else is doing cute beast-form livestreams—why aren’t my six wings getting any superchats?!* Top: *...Do you really need me to explain what you look like?* **Excerpt 3:** Bottom : *I only need *one* wing to wreck you—no need for the other five! Call me a "patchwork chicken" again, and I’ll show you a six-winged archangel!* ---

Si Xiao: “That guy peddling unlicensed, no-brand products isn’t me. My cold, elite persona is rock-solid.”Behind closed doors:Si Xiao: “Dear customer, whatever you want, I’ve got it! Overnight Hair-Growth Ointment, Happy Candy, Sweet-Talk Candy, Wolf-Repelling Glow Stone—guaranteed you won’t lose out or get ripped off! These aren’t ‘three-no’ products—they’re top-tier goods!”————————Si Xiao: “Everything I do is to stay alive.”Ye Rongyi: “I feel like I’m in a love triangle involving two people.”

Bathing: *suddenly pulls out a giant lobster.* Chi Tang: …That’s 800 bucks. Bathing: *pulls out a giant octopus.* Chi Tang: …Another 800 bucks. Bathing: *suddenly pulls out a mermaid.* Chi Tang: …Now that’s a fortune. Mermaid: Care to reconsider? Chi Tang: I just wanted to sell seafood. Never imagined I’d end up inheriting the entire ocean.

Fu Xiuyun: I'm a good-for-nothing, I'm a five-impure spiritual root. Yi Ran: I'm also a good-for-nothing, I'm a failed sword cultivator. Fu Xiuyun & Yi Ran: We're good-for-nothings, and we're this pitiful—shouldn’t this treasure belong to us? Beaten-down genius: ...Damn it! Who's really the pitiful one here?! I didn’t even last three moves before you two took me down, and you still have the nerve to call yourselves good-for-nothings? If you’re good-for-nothings, then what am I? A complete fool? Disgraced grandmaster: Who was it that told me these two were a pair of worthless trash? Step forward, I promise I won’t kill you!! The entire cultivation world: Feels like we’ve been fooled by the term "good-for-nothings"—now we all feel terrible!

This novel is also known as: Teleportation and Takeout, a Perfect Match. How to Build a Fortune Through Deliveries. One Man Handling All Global Express Deliveries. Note: Supernatural beings must not send or receive parcels in their true forms, or a 10% surcharge will be applied for courier emotional distress fees. Corpses as parcels incur a 30% surcharge. Thank you. Additional Note: If you endure the CEO’s idiocy for the first 20+ chapters, you’ll be rewarded with a perfect, protective, and snarky CEO partner. "My Bathtub Leads to the Ocean" — A bathtub that leads to wealth!

A flirtatious dog who loves taking sneaky photos. A tsundere cat obsessed with gossip. A mosquito that thrives on eavesdropping. A kleptomaniac mouse with sticky paws. Add in a man who can’t resist juicy rumors, whose imagination knows no bounds, who somehow always ends up heroically intervening, whose only redeeming quality is his good looks, and who bursts into laughter the moment he has to act— This is the Gossip Squad! Our mission: Share intel, unite the world! Oh, and there’s also a CEO constantly bombarded by gossip and schemes. RIP.

Ox-Head and Horse-Face: "Go die!" Jiu Sheng: "No." Black and White Impermanence: "Go die!!" Jiu Sheng: "Still no!!" Black and White Impermanence: "Holy shit! In thousands of years, this is the first time we've met someone we can't kill no matter what we try!! And we can't just kill him ourselves!! Plus, he seems to be aware of us—what do we do?!" King Yama: "...Useless fools. Watch me." Jiu Sheng, having narrowly escaped a deadly chain collision: "Screw you! Even if the King of Hell comes himself, I won’t die!"

Ren Zhu: Quiet down! Look at the blackboard! Class begins! Rowdy Kid 1: Hahaha, who’s this weakling? Rowdy Kid 2: Dancing beats listening to lectures. Let’s get up and party! Fake Good Kid: Sitting up straight. Ren Zhu: … Rowdy Kid 1: You received Homeroom Teacher’s Silent Stare ×1. Stamina -500. Entered Weak State! Rowdy Kid 2: You received Homeroom Teacher’s Intense Stare ×1. Intelligence -50. Entered Brain-Dead State! Fake Good Kid: You received Homeroom Teacher’s Pleased Stare ×1. Intelligence +50, Stamina +50. Entered Excited State. Ren Zhu: My goal is simple—to educate. To bring love to every troublemaker. Thanks.

Lin You died. His swindler-like youngest uncle had said he wouldn't live past twenty-five, so on his 25th birthday, he resigned himself to death.But Lin You is still alive. His great-grandfather, the old Daoist master, had calculated that he had a chance at a turning point—if he could survive the death tribulation at 25, he would be destined for great wealth and a long life of a hundred years.So, he was dragged along by that "turning point"…Steel parrots, Scottish Fold cats, rats, sparrows, huskies… Lin You felt that he alone could put on a one-man performance of Animal World, and even compete in a decathlon for animals.

Living in a Mansion—A grand tomb built of jade, gold, and silver! Nestled between mountains and waters! With cars and servants—countless burial artifacts! Immortal—Damn, zombies can’t age! My dad tries to kill himself every day but just won’t die!! = = Such a "harmonious" (unbearable) and "wonderful" family. Jiang Shibai laments that ever since their family inexplicably resurrected after being exposed to a bizarre spirit jade, life has become utterly miserable. The eldest brother trains zombie soldiers in the Terracotta Army burial pit every day; the second sister whips rats with a lash; the parents brawl constantly because dad's mistress was also buried with them, while said mistress fake-cries on the sidelines—leaving *him* alone to sneak into the human world to scrounge up enough food for the whole family. What a nightmare =皿= If sneaking around for food means dealing with weird paper money and being chased by some nasty Taoist priest, why not just open a food stall? Well, these days, it’s called a "farmhouse restaurant," right? So, a *zombie* farmhouse restaurant it is. Ah, dear guest, you misheard—it’s the *Jiang Family* Farmhouse. Definitely no zombies here, and we *don’t* bite! P.S. Taoists and vicious dogs are not allowed. Note: 1. This story is purely for fun, with no historical accuracy. A lighthearted read—don’t nitpick! 2. Slow-burn—opening a restaurant takes time, so be patient. 3. Typos will be fixed eventually. Thanks to those who point them out, but note it’s unintentional. Upcoming: *Painted Skin*—a quirky farming/revenge tale. Starts in March. Mwah! Click here to bookmark → *Painted Skin* Finished Works (excluding extras): - *The Young Master Is Omnipresent* (Dual Worlds Series, Book 1; this is Book 2) - *Interstellar Foodie Survival Guide*—Conquer the stars with appetite! - *This Cursed Ginseng*—Actually not cursed at all~ - *No. 138 Monster Pet Shop*—Cuter and fiercer than ever! - *Eat, Sleep, Fight Zombies*—Exactly what it says~ Adopt me! I tell dad jokes~ *and* don’t bite~

Welcome to the Cute Pet Shop at 138 Dark Street.Our shop operates with integrity and a solid reputation; we treat young and old alike with honesty, and our prices are fair.We have cute pets of all shapes and sizes—tall, short, fat, thin—and temperaments ranging from ferocious to adorably silly. Whatever kind of pet you’re looking for, if you can imagine it, we can find it.Since our specialty is the “invincible cute” style, all our pets, big or small, know how to act cute and beg for affection. When an exotic beast coquettishly approaches you, please be sure to follow the Cute Pet Mood Guide with caution; otherwise, you will bear the consequences.Additionally, we conduct follow-up checks after a pet is sold. Any form of mistreatment is strictly forbidden. Forced buying/selling and purchasing multiple pets per person are also prohibited. Violators should be fully prepared—mentally and otherwise—for the repercussions.Finally, the pet by the main gate is a personal item and also our shop’s treasured mascot—it is not for sale. Given that this pet is in a bad mood most of the time, anyone who provokes it does so at their own risk. We will see to your death but not to your burial. Thank you.

Passerby 1: I heard that the amusement park that was always haunted has been inherited.Passerby 2: I heard the amusement park has been renamed “Shanhai Amusement Park.”Passerby 3: I heard it’s super fun! So fun it’s out of this world!!Passerby 4: I heard you’ve been there? What do you think!Visitor 1: I was completely stunned at the time.Visitor 2: I was stunned in and stunned out 0-0.Visitor 3: I want to go again ≥▽≤!!