Since childhood, Jiang Yin dreamed of becoming a famous singer. But whenever he sang— Parents: *Our son is so handsome.* Friends: *Your singing looks great! Wait, your face sounds amazing!* Audience: *Sorry, what did you just sing? I wasn’t paying attention.* Jiang Yin raged: *I’m asking you to listen to my singing, not stare at my face!!* Furious, Jiang Yin combed his hair into a mushroom cut, put on thick bottle-cap glasses, and enrolled in a prestigious art school, determined to win over audiences with his talent. He decided to start his conquest with his ridiculously handsome roommate. The campus heartthrob came from a powerful, wealthy family, blessed with dazzling looks and a lifetime of adoration. But he never expected to be so intrigued by the unremarkable, pitiful-looking boy sharing his dorm. Heartthrob: *Be my lackey. I’ll protect you—50,000 a month allowance.* Jiang Yin, eyeing the millions in his own bank account: *…No thanks.* Heartthrob: *He’s not swayed by money? So pure, so genuine!* The heartthrob flashed his signature smile. Jiang Yin: *…My roommate might be mentally unwell. I’m giving up on him.* Heartthrob: *Heh. That’s not up to you.* --- **Content Notes:** 1. Blend of campus life and entertainment industry. 2. Entirely fictional; may differ from reality. Don’t overthink it. 3. Self-indulgent crackfic—logic optional, fun prioritized.