A Ferry Ticket

In the sweltering heat of early autumn, Xu Qingchen leaned against the lectern in a black shirt and white trousers as Su Yin came to introduce herself."Teacher."Xu Qingchen softly repeated Su Yin's name.That year, Su Yin was sixteen.True to her name, Xu Qingchen carried herself with an almost flawless elegance. In all the years that followed, Su Yin never met another woman whose grace could compare to hers.Su Yin knew Xu Qingchen didn't like students like her. She always claimed she didn't like Xu Qingchen either.But the truth was, it hurt.Later, neither of them could remember who stepped into whose world first.On the day Xu Qingchen got divorced, Su Yin stayed with her all night beside the broken ping-pong table on the school playground. The wind was cold, and they shared a single school jacket."Teacher, what's your favorite movie?""In the Mood for Love."If there were one more ticket... would you come away with me?Extra 1Xu Qingchen received another anonymous letter.Just a thin envelope.As always, she quietly slipped it into a drawer without opening it.She thought locking it away would help her forget.Instead, the more she avoided it, the louder the memories came rushing back."Xu Qingchen, why wouldn't you take this ticket? Why wouldn't you come with me?""Disgusting.""What's disgusting?""You. And this kind of love. It all disgusts me."Extra 2Xu Qingchen saw Su Yin again.In the sunlight.In the rain.In the sky.In her dreams.And in Yu Zhi's Moments.Standing on the playground where the old broken ping-pong table had long since been removed, Xu Qingchen lingered there for a long time, searching in every direction.There was nothing left.Somewhere, on an ordinary day she never noticed, Su Yin had already moved on.Those memories had slowly faded into the past.Perhaps Su Yin didn't even remember her anymore.Only Xu Qingchen was still trapped there.She finally broke down.She cried.The whole world seemed to ache with her heartbreak.Except for one person.Su Yin.Extra 3"I can't stand that you've been married before. You're dirty. Don't you get it, Xu Qingchen? You're filthy."Those words had become a thorn buried deep in Xu Qingchen's heart.She could never pull it out.When they were spoken, the other person's eyes had been filled with nothing but disgust and revulsion. If looks could kill, Xu Qingchen would have been torn apart a thousand times over.That person was none other than the love of her life.Now, Su Yin lay sleeping peacefully beside her.Xu Qingchen couldn't sleep.Before bed, she kissed Su Yin, trying every way she could to please her, wishing she could give every part of herself to the woman she loved.Su Yin only said quietly,"I'm tired."Nothing more.Xu Qingchen was left alone in the silence of the night, one thought echoing over and over in her mind.Does she think I'm dirty again?The Xu Qingchen who had once stood confidently behind the classroom podium, embodying elegance and feminine charm, was gone.Somewhere in this relationship, she had lost herself.She loved Su Yin so much.And she was terrified of losing her.She was jealous.Possessive.Overly sensitive.Prone to overthinking.Always starved for reassurance.She cried through the entire night, asking herself again and again—When did I lose who I was?Extra 4At a gala, beneath dim lights, one woman stood out from the crowd.Wearing a teal evening gown, she gently swirled the wine in her glass. Someone spoke to her, and she responded with the faintest lift of her crimson lips—graceful, aloof, untouchable.Su Yin walked over."Long time no see."The woman took a sip of wine.Her eyes were icy.Without the slightest emotion, she uttered a single word."Get lost."