Metaphysics Saves the Entertainment Industry

By chance, Lu Xuan encounters an ancient ghost with a square face, bushy beard, and burly build. They hit it off instantly, sharing common interests, and then the ghost reveals his name: Su Shi. Lu Xuan: Huh??? On another occasion, Lu Xuan lands a role in a grandiose historical drama filled with Mary Sue tropes, centered around Empress Wu Zetian. On set, Lu Xuan meets an elegant, poised, and voluptuous beautiful female ghost. She introduces herself as Wu Zhao. She adds that acting is rather fun—especially when the lead character is herself. Lu Xuan summons the Black and White Impermanence (underworld envoys) and points at the ghost currently possessing an actress mid-scene: "This bigshot—can you two handle her?" Black and White Impermanence: "We wouldn’t dare..." Mini Skit Agent: You have an audition tomorrow. Lu Xuan: *Performs a quick divination* Tomorrow is inauspicious for work. (Result: Audition postponed by a day.) Director: Tomorrow’s filming is outdoors. Lu Xuan: *Performs another divination* Tomorrow is inauspicious for travel. (Result: Torrential rain at the location.) Someone: When will you marry me? Lu Xuan: *Begins divination* Someone: Hmm? Lu Xuan: Now, now, now! The stars say we’re a match made in heaven—every day is perfect for marriage.