The Rival Consorts

When people speak of the Empress, they say she’s dignified, virtuous, and a model of maternal grace for the realm. The Imperial Consort sneers: “Just a bookworm, too highbrow to be popular.” When people speak of the Imperial Consort, they say she’s stunningly beautiful, unmatched in the harem. The Empress smiles faintly: “Nothing but a pretty shell, rotten inside.” One day, they wake up—the Empress becomes the Imperial Consort, and the Imperial Consort becomes the Empress. Imperial Consort: “So… what did I say about the Imperial Consort before?” (Smile, smile, smile.) Maid: “A hollow radish wrapped in an embroidered pillowcase.” Empress: “Did I say the Empress was particularly dowdy?” (Serious, serious, serious.) Maid: “Absolutely, said it just three days ago.”