Break His Heart!

Childhood friend got dumped by a scumbag, plunged into despair, cried for months, and fell into depression. Straight guy Bai Junyan couldn’t take it anymore and devised a grand plan. He decided to give the scumbag a taste of his own medicine—make him suffer the same heartbreak! Rumors said the scumbag was filthy rich: elite family background, CEO status, personal chauffeur, rode in a Bentley, had umbrellas held for him in the rain, and custom-tailored clothes. Rumors also claimed he was drop-dead handsome, looks rivaling a celebrity. Bai Junyan quickly locked onto his target. Months later. Target successfully charmed—scumbag was head over heels for him. Then, Bai Junyan coldly dumped him. The scumbag, stunned, asked why. Bai Junyan smirked: *"Because you’re bad in bed."* Bai Junyan was satisfied. Told his friend: *"Bro! I avenged you!! He’ll remember this for life! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"* Friend sobbed: *"That bastard’s entire persona was fake! The luxury car was rented, the house was rented, his diploma was fake, the CEO title was fake!! Even his social media clout was bought on Taobao!!!"* …Wait? Bai Junyan felt something was off. After intense questioning— Bai Junyan: *"Holy shit, did I target the wrong guy???"* The wrong guy, horrifically vindictive with a slow reflex: *"…Who did you say was bad in bed?"* — **Innocent, sheltered young master (top) × King of sarcastic one-liners (bottom)** P.S.: 1. The scumbag and the guy Bai charmed are two different people—this is a colossal mix-up. Hence, this story’s alt title: *"A Comedy of Errors."* 2. The protagonist’s actions are wrong—do not imitate! He *will* face consequences later. 3. The protagonist is human, not a flawless saint. Avoid god-mode judgment or black-and-white interpretations.