Married Thrice to Salted Fish

Helan Xi is cheerful and lively by nature, but due to his constitution, he is forced to study the Path of Emotionless. The practitioners of this path are cold and silent, choosing their words sparingly. To fit in, Helan Xi has no choice but to suppress his true self and painfully feign aloofness. One day, however, Helan Xi accidentally… sleeps with his classmate, Song Xun. Upon waking, Helan Xi instantly loses his mind: *"I guess this damned path just isn’t for me anymore! Ahaha, life—life is full of surprises and unexpected twists!! And what’s with that look? Oh, you must be thinking I'm insane. That’s right, I’m insane! How shallow, how ignorant, how childish of me! Bet you didn’t expect this, Song Xun—you slept with a lunatic!!!"* Song Xun, who had always assumed Helan Xi was as reserved as himself: *"...Calm down."* Fortunately, their Path of Emotionless remains intact—proof that sleeping together doesn’t equate to affection. Once he finishes his meltdown, Helan Xi coldly approaches Song Xun: *"About me being a lunatic… could you keep it a secret?"* Song Xun: *"..."* ~ The consequence of two Emotionless practitioners breaking the rules to date: violent winds with every kiss, thunderstorms with every bed session. Mortified, Helan Xi wails: *"Please, save me! The whole sect knows when we kiss! I can't keep liking you this much… Alright—I hate people who snore in bed. How about you fake some snores when we sleep together tonight?"* Song Xun: *"."*

Zhao Mian, the Crown Prince of Nanjing, encounters an ordinary passerby during his incognito travels. Both are struck by a strange poison that flares every full moon—without intimate relations, they will perish together. The prince, powerful and peerlessly handsome, glares at the plain-faced stranger with gritted teeth: *"A nobleman may be killed, but not humiliated."* The stranger frowns: *"No issue with your pride, but why point a sword at me?"* Zhao Mian sneers: *"Better kill you than disgrace myself."* The stranger sighs: *"Hold on—let me remove this disguise first before we talk."* Once the disguise is shed, the stranger is no longer ordinary. Zhao Mian calms slightly. To survive, despite their mutual reluctance, they argue bitterly... then comply before the poison takes effect. At Zhao Mian’s coronation, the neighboring kingdom sends envoy Wei Zhenfeng with congratulations. In the hall, Wei’s eyes gleam like the moon: *"Your Majesty, long time no see."* Zhao Mian touches his slightly rounded abdomen, lost in thought. During the Crown Prince’s full moon celebration, Wei arrives uninvited, dark energy swirling, yet still smirking: *"I left briefly, and now you have a child? This cuckold’s hat blindsides me."* Zhao Mian scoffs: *"All under heaven are mine—what cuckoldry? Guards, toss this ungrateful Northern Abyss rogue out."* As tensions rise, an old eunuch blurts: *"Sire, your postpartum weakness means no agitation!"* [Note: The protagonist’s fathers will bear a third child in this story.]

For the first half of his life, Xiao Yu’an lived under constraints, yet he never considered himself pitiful. He had a master who doted on him, a brother he had regained, and a junior brother who, though ill-tempered, at least never harmed him. Until one day, his master abandoned him, his brother planted a gu in his body, and his junior brother sneered, demanding to know why he was still alive… Even so, Xiao Yu’an never lost hope in the world—because he met a young swordsman. Cold as moonlight, noble as rare jade, every gesture of the young swordsman exuded grace befitting a renowned sect. Xiao Yu’an thought they could be friends. Later, the young swordsman demanded he offer his blood to save another’s life. Xiao Yu’an didn’t want to die. He wanted to live—freely. **Before You Dive In:** - *The cover features the bottom. The top is Gu Louyin. Only the top succeeds in the crematorium arc. From beginning to end, the top and bottom have eyes only for each other, though the bottom has intimate moments with cannon-fodder tops.* **Not suitable for pure romance purists.** - *The synopsis is the content warning. Each form of toxicity is spelled out. Not a sweet story, not a straightforward power fantasy—expect old-school melodrama and dogblood twists. Proceed at your own discretion.*

Zhao Qi transmigrated into a tyrant emperor from a novel. The tyrant was notorious for his evil deeds and suffered from erectile dysfunction. After transmigrating, Zhao Qi could "rise" to the occasion, but he rejected the harem, steadfastly adhering to the IV1 path. During a palace banquet, someone laced Zhao Qi's wine with drugs. In his dazed state, he grabbed someone and then... Upon waking, he realized he had suffered a huge loss! Furious, Zhao Qi roared: "Outrageous! How dare they take advantage of me? I will find and castrate that scoundrel!" He ordered the chief eunuch to present the guest list from the banquet, narrowing it down to four suspects: The indifferent and cold prime minister, the dashing and charming prince, the peerlessly skilled general, and the scholar who had been forcibly brought into the palace by the original emperor—a man who utterly loathed him. Two months later, before the culprit could be found, Zhao Qi began experiencing nausea and drowsiness. Summoning the imperial physician, he received a shocking diagnosis— The physician stammered in terror: "Y-Your Majesty... this is... a p-pregnancy pulse!"